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“I know I will never feel pure joy again” Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg Reflects on Grief as She Mourns Her Husband
An amazing reflection on grief.
Facebook Chief of Operations Sheryl Sandberg lost her husband, Dave Goldberg, CEO of Survey Monkey, in a gym accident on holiday, a month ago. The 47 year old was found on the floor near a treadmill at a resort in Mexico.
The late Dave was the first person to show Sheryl the internet, and together, they built a life with their two children.
In a Facebook note shared yesterday, the tech exec reflected on love and loss with these profound words. The post has resonated with a lot of the website’s users, generating hundreds of thousands of likes and comments of support.
“Today is the end of sheloshim for my beloved husband—the first thirty days. Judaism calls for a period of intense mourning known as shiva that lasts seven days after a loved one is buried. After shiva, most normal activities can be…
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THE UNMOTIVATED PARTNER
Interesting…
When you are trying to attain certain goals in life, be mindful of the people you choose to partner with. Whether a relationship, friendship, or business, pay attention to your partner’s passion. Keep your eyes open to how motivated they are to staying aligned with reaching the desired goals. The worst experience in partnerships is to carry someone who should be walking beside you. Yes, people hit hard times. People will fall, and there are times when being a dedicated partner calls for you to carry the weight of two. But how far, how long, and for what reasons should be taken into consideration. Some people fall and stay down longer than they should due to lack of motivation. Some people become comfortable in their position and are unmotivated to move forward towards attaining those goals. Do not allow your loyalty to your unmotivated partner to bring you down. A…
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Validating your own truth
Things that make me go hmmmmm…
One of the hardest things to do, for some of us, is admitting to ourselves that we have made a wrong emotional investment. Even when there are neon signs, blinking away right in front of our eyes to point out the fact, we still find it difficult to call it a wrap, cut our losses and quit while we’re ahead.
Maybe we can’t bear the thought of losing out on “everything” after all the effort and sacrifice we’ve put into the relationship. Maybe we believe if we just hold it together for a few days more, or a few weeks more, or a few months more, or a few years more, the situation will change and improve and we’ll be rewarded with our heart’s desire… We will reap the benefits of our patience and resilience.
So when the narcissist starts on his crippling cycle of value – devalue, attach –…
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Wall #1
I can’t say that I’m trapped. It takes four walls to trap you into a room and even then, there is always a door or a window right? Well, at least right now, I can say that I don’t feel trapped but that wasn’t the case earlier in the week. I hit three walls and it made me feel like a prisoner to my situation and my emotions. I started to feel sorry for myself and when I allow myself to start going down that path, sometimes it is really difficult to pull myself out of it. I’m still in the process of getting back on the right path of reason and forgiveness but I think the hard part is over. I hope that blogging this will help shoot me farther into the process and bring me closer to the finish line.
I hit the first wall at work. I have the unfortunate pleasure of working with a toxic person. It has been two years that I have been in that office and I have experienced all her drama and negativity and I have shared my ups and downs with her as well. It’s only natural that you form a bond with the people you work with; you are with them for a majority of your day other than your family and friends. So for the last couple of years, I have tried to help her be more positive and I have tried to help her workload whenever I can. But after our end of the year event, I have had enough. Everything that people had warned me about her seemed all true at that event. And I decided that would be the last time she treated me like that.
One of our employees is retiring soon. This employee has not been a constant favorite of Miss Toxic and I have witnessed their constant work battles. I have been part of many “secret” conversations about how Miss Toxic cannot stand this employee. Yet, at the event, whose side did she stick by and not want to leave? Yup, you got it. Now let me back up a little and mention that Miss Toxic has been trying to leave our department because she is unhappy with her list of duties and says, “This isn’t what I want to do for the rest of my life.” So she has been putting in transfers and applications to other departments but has not been able to land any of them. Maybe it’s because of the look of irritation that she gives everyone on the phone or in person when they ask her for help? Maybe it’s because of how she cusses under her breathe when she feels she is going above and beyond for a task that only takes a few seconds or minutes to complete? Maybe it’s because of how she judges people on how they should do their jobs and what they should or should be doing at that very moment in time? I don’t know; you tell me. Oh, and let me add that her husband is “on vacation” and just recently, so is her boyfriend. Hmmmmmm…
Last year, Miss Toxic and I handled the event together. I did the planning and executing along with our boss and she wrapped the raffle gifts and helped me do the actual raffle at the event since our boss did not attend it. So I figured that this year would be the same. Yeah, I thought wrong. First of all, I was able to change the menu up from the usual that they had received for prior years because she complained about the food. “It’s always this and I want that.” So I made the suggestion to my boss and obtained a quote for the menu change. I’m pretty sure that it was also partly due to the employee retiring, but the menu change was approved. You would think that she would have appreciated that. Secondly, she freely expressed her lack of enthusiasm to help wrap the gifts or even get more gifts. And when it came time to take everything to the event, she didn’t even want to take anything. But I asked her if she would at least take the gifts and after muttering under her breath and making a face, she grabbed the gifts and left.
We had a full house at the event, about 60 coworkers showed up. I had the task of making sure that everyone signed in, got a raffle ticket, and received their work year calendars for the new year. I went to every single person seated, including her. It was a bit tiring and I was getting hungry from watching everyone get served their salads. I finally sat down and picked at my salad. I half listened to all the announcements and speeches and clapped when everyone clapped. Everyone enjoyed their steaks and potatoes. Everyone except me. I decided I would not eat yet until everyone else was done; totally my choice. I began to pick at a second salad. When it came time to do the raffle, I tried to hand Miss Toxic the bowl with the tickets and asked her to do the raffle. She turned around and made a face and said flatly, “No, you do it. I don’t want to do it.” I looked at her and explained everything I had already done and she looked at me like I told her pigs were flying. She was just adamant that she was not going to do it. She wanted to sit next to the retiree and just kiss booty and act like Miss Thang. I was fuming. Luckily for me, the retiree took the tickets and got up and did the raffle with our boss. I still couldn’t believe that she was acting that way despite everything I had done for her. I was hurt and angry.
Part of the transfer and application process includes submitting three letters of reference. Guess who wrote Miss Toxic a letter when she asked for one? Yes, me. And when she was fuming about not getting any of the positions she applied for, who do you think talked her into making an appointment to speak directly to the person in charge of Human Resources? Yes, me. And anytime she needed to vent about the work she hated and the people who annoy her and the retiree who doesn’t know anything, who sat there and listened and tried to be the voice of reason? Yes, me.
I completely lost my appetite after that. I ended up taking my lunch to go. After the event was done, she was one of the first ones to leave. I was the last one, along with the retiree and our boss. We gathered everything that needed to go back to the office and left the restaurant. Although everyone praised the event as a success, I was still bothered by how Miss Toxic treated me.
I drove off and thought to myself, “I need a drink.”
The Goodbye
Goodbye…
I pray that you find the peace that you seek
I pray that you find the love you deserve and desire
I pray that you receive the healing that you strive for
I pray that you find balance in your heart and mind
I pray that you find forgiveness toward me in however I failed you and in yourself for whatever you are battling within
I pray that you find comfort in the truth you seek in God and Jesus
I pray you find happiness in the small blessings and joy in the big ones
I pray that you find the path that you are suppose to be on to take you where your life needs to go
I pray that you believe that I love you enough to let you go
=) jeannie
Letting go of shitty relationships
All I can say is “wow”….
Relationships.. the most incredible yet mind fucking confusing things in the whole world. Sometimes the people you most want a relationship with are the people you’re best off without it’s difficult sometimes to understand when a relationship is bad for you. When it doesn’t necessarily work. When it’s so addictive to be around someone but so toxic at the same time.
Sometimes we build relationships on convenience and naivety.. we fall into them without considering the necessary traits to build a successful bond with one another.. important traits like trust, support and loving encouragement and to be honest we jump into relationships sometimes without even really KNOWING that person. And then these relationships become routine, they become habitual and we routinely keep these people around because well simply.. they’re already around.
It’s easy to develop a connection with someone who’s always there even when they’re not adding any real value to our…
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If I stop loving you
This one really got to me for some reason…
Shared by Diana Georgia
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When I fell in love with you, I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, and I could not imagine myself with somebody else. I never looked forward to the day I’d be falling out of love with you. I didn’t think it would be possible for me to live a life without you.
I think I was wrong, and you were right all along. It took me a long time to realize it. You used to tell me that you wished we both could live a hundred years together, so we would have more time to be with each other. You wished we were born in the same place at the same time because you thought that you had wasted twenty-two years of your life not being with me. But you also told me that you…
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The Moment
Throughout my life, I had heard of people talking about the moment when they knew a person was going to change their lives. And as usual, it was almost always associated with people falling in love. It’s like in the movies where one person sees another person across the room and then all of sudden, time and space stands still and all that is in the air is the invisible intense path from one set of eyes to the other. They are the only ones in focus and everything and everyone around them seems to blur and move in slow motion. It’s a pretty cool effect, if you ask me.
Take my cousin, for example. She once described to me how she met her husband and it involved “a moment.” I think it was just after Thanksgiving because around that time, Christmas parties were in effect. She had decided that she was done feeling bad about past relationships and done trying to blame herself for the relationship failures. So she sat herself down and wrote everything good about herself on little post-it notes and posted them on the mirror in front of her. When she was done, she had almost covered the whole mirror with notes. She felt good. She felt positive. She then decided to get some grooming done and went to visit her hairdresser to get cleaned up. A girl’s gotta look good, ya know.
After much talking and hair cutting, it was decided that a drink was in order. So they went next door to an Italian place to have some wine. Christmas parties were being held at the place so there was a pretty good crowd. The conversation headed in the direction of what kind of man my cousin was looking for to spend the rest of her life with. And at that moment, the doors opened and in walked him And that’s exactly what she replied to the question presented to her. “Him.” She pointed with her gaze. She said her knees got weak and she felt her heart skip a beat and thought she was going to lose her balance. I love hearing her describe all that. There is nothing like reliving moments like that when they really happened. And well, folks, the rest is history. They managed to get a few words in to each other and immediately started dating. To this day, they are married and have 2 sweet, adorable boys, and one on the way.
Then there’s me. Ha ha. Stuff like that didn’t happen to me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a sucker for romance and all things sweet, but I’m just so jaded about things like that happening. I mean, it only happens in the movies, right? That’s what I thought. Until…
I had developed a love/hate relationship with my car. I loved it because of how it spoiled me. I hated it because of how it stranded me. The repair bills were piling up. I needed to get rid of it. On many occasions, I discussed with my cousin mentioned above and her hubby (also mentioned above, ha ha) how I needed to trade in my car. I was terrified of the idea for some reason. I kept making excuses for months. Finally, I gave in. By chance, my cousin’s hubby had a best friend who was a car salesman. The communication started between them and eventually I was given the name and number of the guy who was going to help me trade in my car that I loved for something economical and affordable. Drum roll, please. Ahem! And this is when contact was made with Omar. I have to smile as I type his name. Sigh.
So let’s bypass all the text messages and one or two phone calls that were exchanged about the car deal and fast forward to the day I went to trade in my car. That’s all it was to me. It was already determined that the evening would be horrible because I would be trading in my car for something I didn’t want. I knew I needed to though. I just didn’t know how to let go. So I dragged one of my best friends with me for support and encouragement. We pulled up to the dealership and I sat in my car for the last time with her. I looked around and started to make sure I had everything out of the car before I gave her up. As we were walking to the doors, a guy on a golf cart pulled up and asked if we were there to see anyone. I smiled a fake smile and said, “Yes, I’m here to see Omar.” Again, I have to smile as I type his name.
The guy tells us to have a seat and that he will let Omar know that we are here. I sit down and watch him walk over to one of the offices across the room. Then all of a sudden, I saw him. Omar. He walked out of the office with a smile, such a gorgeous smile. The second I looked into his eyes, I quickly inhaled a sharp breath and held it, my heart skipped a beat, and I was taken aback with awe. The room was a blur and all I could focus on was this gorgeous man walking toward me. Everything around me seemed unreal and moving in slow motion. Wait? Was that a moment? Did I just experience a moment? Hell yeah, I did!
When he was halfway the distance to me, I finally let my breath out and could feel my heart beating in my chest again instead of in my throat. He said one thing: “Hi!” And it was as if those words were some cue for my knees to buckle from under me. I was cool though and kept my composure. I said “Hi” back and things started to move normally around us. He gave me a half hug around my shoulders and said something to the effect of “it feels like we’re family already.” The vision of a wedding cake flashed through my mind that instant and it surprised the crap out of me that all I could do was laugh nervously and say, “Yeah.” I felt like such a dork. He went on to explain what the rest of the evening was going to be like and he walked off to get things started. I sat down, still in awe, and whispered to my friend, “Holy shit, I’m in trouble.” She laughed. She knew. I told her, “Oh my god, Omar is freakin’ cute!” I suddenly felt like some Anime high school girl in a cheerleading suit with pig tails and I wanted to jump into the air and yell some Japanese cheer that I can’t even begin to pronounce. It was a crazy, wonderful, once-in-a-lifetime feeling. And I’ll never forget it. Never.
Omar….
I smile…
I sigh…..
That was the moment I started to learn to love him.
janesamari 